By Debo Adeoye, Ibadan, Nigeria
Before celebrating the birth of a male child or rejoicing over being one, it is worth pausing to reflect deeply on the immense responsibilities that come with becoming a man. Manhood is not merely a biological identity—it is an unfolding journey of expectations, sacrifice, and often silent battles. Unless a man is ready to embrace these responsibilities with courage and wisdom, society will not hesitate to brand him “irresponsible” or dismiss him as an “absent father” in the ever-demanding world of men.
The Burden No One Talks About
In many cultures, especially ours, the responsibilities of everyone around a man somehow become his own. A man’s wealth, strength, and time are expected to stretch far beyond his immediate family. His wife and children depend on him, his parents and siblings look to him, his relatives call on him, his in-laws rely on him, and his friends and community expect support from him. Even his religious community—church or mosque—sees him as a potential pillar.
When others are in trouble, they run to a man. When heavy loads need lifting—literally or figuratively—the man is called. Society sees him as the ever-available protector, the unshakable solver of problems, the “strong one” who must never break.
Yet when a man himself is in need, more often than not, he is left alone with the phrase, “After all, he is a man.” Only a few men are blessed with wives, children, relatives, or friends who genuinely care for them in their vulnerable moments.
How Men Sometimes Contribute to Their Own Pain
Many of the struggles men face today are self-inflicted—not out of irresponsibility, but out of misplaced priorities. In the chase to provide financially, men often surrender their time, presence, and emotional connection at home. They believe money can solve every problem, because the loudest expectation they hear is: “We need money.”
In this cycle, men labor endlessly. They fund everything but participate in little. They leave child-care to their wives or housemaids, rarely know the details of their children’s daily lives, and entrust family relationships entirely to their spouses. Ironically, the same people on whom men pour their resources sometimes fail to appreciate their sacrifices. Why? Because money alone is not love. Presence is.
A Call for Balance and Presence
On this International Men’s Day, men across the world must rethink their approach to responsibility. Financial support is important, but it is not enough. Your children need your voice, your time, your warmth, your mentorship. Your parents need your presence, not only your wallet. Your family needs a whole man—not a tired, stressed, emotionally absent provider.
Be your children’s friend and helper at home. Know at least 90% of their lives. Do not watch from a distance while your wife carries all the emotional and domestic burdens. Let your love speak through presence, not only provision.
Your Body Is Your First Responsibility—Protect It
To celebrate many more International Men’s Days, men must prioritize their health. This week—no excuses—visit a medical centre. Do a proper check-up. Examine your heart, liver, kidneys, prostate, lungs, eyes, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels. Do not wait until you are rushed to the hospital.
Avoid energy drinks; they silently damage the heart. Stay away from sex enhancement drugs; they destroy more lives than they fix. Reduce or eliminate junk foods. Lower your salt intake, especially if you already have hypertension. Sleep for at least 8–9 hours daily. Exercise moderately and regularly. And above all, remain content with what God has blessed you with.
A Message of Strength and Hope
Manhood is not weakness disguised as strength; it is strength wrapped in responsibility. It is sacrifice, yes—but it must also be balanced with self-care, emotional connection, and wisdom.
As we mark International Men’s Day today, may every man find clarity, courage, and renewed commitment—not just to his family, but to himself.
Happy International Men’s Day to men across the globe.
